Follow This

Time to start cashing in on my promises of old, and this promise comes as a deviation from the primary focus of this blog.

First on the list is to introduce you to the next major thing. As you will see, This is some straight thug ass shit. Actually, it could be considered clinically insane.

I personally don't care for Twitter, but I think I found one individual it works perfectly for. In the grand scheme of things, I don't care about the minutae of everyone's life. I'm not being rude, but I don't care if Jason is "feeling bummed that Texas lost" or Becca is "loving the new season of Gossip Girl" or Gary is "don't buy a Nissan cuz they suck". I care about the important things, like when Jack's pizza is 4 for 10 dollars, when Arby's is running 5 for 5 dollars, and when Monster Jam is showing reruns. What it boils down to is that I'm just not interested in useless information. This is the source of my distaste (mostly) for Facebook and Twitter. Tweet me all day about Whopper Wednesday. Bring it. But as far as useless information is concerned, first came Facebook, then came Twitter, then came a baby in the baby shitter.

No need to take offense, as I know many of you out there use Twitter. That's fine. I guess, as you will see, I'm open minded enough to recognize that what might be considered minutae to one person might be very important to another. But only if that person is a cat.

Check it out:
www.twitter.com/@heypeanuttt

Hello, boys! I'm baaaack!!

Memorializing the final words of Randy Quaid's character when he saves the world and flies his fighter jet up the puckerhole of the alien spacecraft hovering over Area 51 in the final battle scene of the 1996 blockbuster hit "Independence Day"..... "Hello boys! I'm baaack!!!"

If you don't remember, Independence Day almost singlehandedly reinvigorated our great nation into the major disaster movie genre. 'Twas (in the Christmas spirit) the first real significant disaster movie to lay total waste to the White House - a feat which still wins our hearts in the recent movie "2012". There were many followers to lay waste to the Earth, most of which were remakes. A quick list would include The Day After Tomorrow, The Day the Earth Stood Still, The War of the Worlds, Brokeback Mountain, and The War After the Day the World Stood Still Tomorrow.

In fact, Independence Day was one of the first movies in memory to use viral marketing to promote itself. Nowadays, "viral marketing" is pigeonholed into the sole concept of web promotion, but back in 1996, you better believe I was watching the Steelers-Cowboys Superbowl XXX and at halftime saw a 3o second commercial come on TV that consisted solely of a gigantic UFO hovering over the White House for about 5 seconds, then shooting a blue laser into the White House and blasting it into smithereens, followed by a fade to black, and then a slow fade back in, showing only the date "July 4". As of that moment, my summer movie plans became very clear.

Anyway, just a few quick hits to confirm my reestablished presence on this board. First, look back at my Brett Favre comments from June/July. I was totally correct. Second, I will recount my mission to South Bend Regional Airport as promised in my last post.

Third, and most predictably (Since Chad Ochocinco and Terrell Owens are so boring this year) I have a predictably-predictable prediction about the Tiger Woods story, which I will predicably convey in my next post. My prediction will not come true for about 12-16 months, but I assure you it will come true. Totally predictable.

But, for now, Will Smith vs. Outer Space Octopus. Welcome to Earth.

"Welcome to Earth" Link: http://www.hulu.com/watch/17084/independence-day-welcome-to-earth

Site Re-Design Coming Soon plus Special Surprise

A site redesign is comning soon, but right now the wife and I are are occupied with a few out of town events - concerts, weddings - and a new family pet, Peanut.

I can feel the excitement on my fingertips.

And, the Special Surprise is nothing short of rad. Just remember to bring your bilingual translator.

A Tale of Two Shitties

Conquering 1980's video game high scores. Flights being delayed. Traveling to the future. Waiting for the present to become the past. Coming Soon: A tale of my epic (mis)adventures over the last 5 days while traveling to Nashville to assist my brother in his move back to Fort Wayne, Indiana.

Death To Twitter

Seriously, can anyone really argue against this?

Even if you Tweet, I have to believe you hate the concept of Twitter, unless, of course, you are a total Twit.

Twitter reminds me of all those social interactions you had growing up where you’d be sitting in a circle of people/friends/acquaintances and having a good conversation. Then, out of nowhere, that one kid would say something that would bring the conversation to a screeching halt.

It would go something like this:

Guy #1: Oh man, Britney Spears is SOOOO HOT!!!

Guy #2: Totally, dude. She’s smokin’.

Guy #3: Yeah! And what about Beyonce… that chick is bangin’!

Guy #4: Bro, they’d both be screamin’ “If You Seek Amy” when I walked in the room!

Twit #1: Awww yeah! But you gotta admit Bea Arthur was the original freak! Y’know?

Then, as you got older and sat through discussion groups in college, and then meetings at your workplace, you realized that the “Twit” who said the idiotic thing still existed. Except, this time, he/she took the form of your annoying classmate, coworker, or even worse, your boss.

That’s the problem with Twitter. Everyone SHOULD NOT have a voice. In fact, most people should just keep their mouth shut.

Always remember the old adage: “It is better to remain silent and have everyone think you’re a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt”. That’s Twitter.

Of course, that makes this entire post ironic, or at the very least allows one to label me the pot who calls the kettle black.

There’s too much to say about this in just one post.

Journalistic Integrity = Petty Gossip

It's official. ESPN.com is officially jeopardizing any journalistic integrity it has left. Apparently, Twitter has now become ESPN's official source for breaking news in the world of sports. Yes, I just wrote a form of the word "official" four times in four sentences.

Under the "Headlines" posted on the front page of ESPN.com, ESPN boasts: "Love tweets that McHale is out as Wolves coach". WHAT?!?! Let me get this straight. While almost 10% of Americans are currently unemployed, ESPN is paying somebody to monitor Twitter.com for breaking sports news?

FYI, the person mentioned as "Love" is Kevin Love, a backup Forward for the Minnesota Timberwolves. He is not a journalist. He is not a representative of ESPN. He is not affiliated with the media whatesover. He is a professional basketball player. Nothing more.

In previous years, when the Male Soap Opera had yet to reach its current mania, the jabberjawing of a backup NBA Forward would be considered a "rumor" or "hot tip" on a possible lead story. Now, however, in the "me me me" world of Twitter, this sort of rumor has been promoted to the level of certifiable, reportable news.

Back in the day, this sort of news would not be reported unless it came straight from team management. Instead, ESPN has now elevated the "tweets" of Kevin Love, a benchwarming Forward for the Minnesota Timberwolves, to the level of the ultimate final word as to the hiring and firing of the team's head coaches. That's right. ESPN.com wants us to believe that the Timberwolves have made Twitter - and their backup Forward - their official medium for breaking news? Why else would ESPN post this rumor as an actual news story? I'm at a loss here.

Is Kevin Love right? Probably, I guess. Why else would he "tweet" this vital information? But that's not the point.

The point is any media source with any integrity would wait to break the story until it was officially announced by management. Apparently, in today's world, it's more important be first than to maintain integrity.

For the sake of all things holy. I hate Twitter. I have no disrespect to my readers who recreationally use Twitter for fun. But, I lose respect daily for those who rely on it to feed the beast. That includes you, ESPN.

I Hate To Say I Told You So, But...

Nostradamus remains heralded as one of the greatest, if not the greatest, prognosticators in human history. This dude is controversial, but he allegedly nailed many of his ancient predictions, including predicting the death of King Henry II of France, the Burning of London, the beginning of WWII, and Clay Aiken finishing behind Ruben Studdard in Season Two of American Idol.

Something tells me that's not the first time Clay Aiken has finished behind another man.

*Disclaimer: The opinions of the person writing this blog do not necessarily represent the writer of this blog's opinions.

I mean, c'mon, either Nostradamus had the biggest set of balls in the history of mankind, or he was just trying to raise a ruckus with his bold, unfounded proclamations. I'm guessing a little bit of both.

I tried to look up Nostradamus' full name, just for shits and giggles. Several convenient sources, possibly unreliable, inform me that "Nostradamus" is a latin language form of his real name, Michel de Notredame. One of these sources also describe him as a "Christian Jew" which I find to be akin to a calling someone a carnivorous vegetarian. And for those of you who want to enlighten me about the intricacies of what a Christian Jew might actually be, save your breath. I don't care.

Anyway, Nostradamus' last name is Notredame? Notre Dame? Michael of Notre Dame? If the University of Notre Dame hired a janitor named Michael, and this janitor started waxing philosophical about the imminent destruction of mankind in 2012, would we herald him as the second coming of Nostradamus, or lock him away in a maximum security facility and throw away the key? Trick question: We would take him to TGI Fridays and buy him shots until he passed out, and then ditch him at last call and leave the bar tab in his name.

Well, Nostradamus needs to make room in his trophy case. There's a new kid on the scene: Captain Obvious. Coincidentally, The Male Soap Opera and I were both waiting at the same bus stop when Captain Obvious stopped to pick us up, but for some reason, I was the only one to climb aboard. I think MSO was too busy dramatizing (read: Twittering) the Brett Favre updates and failed to latch on to the reality of the situation.

I hate to say I told you so, but...

I only posted to let everyone know that I was right. Just a few days since I posted my opinion on the BF saga, it turns out that there actually was NO saga! Imagine that. My analysis on the issue was exactly right - that this was a single issue (not a saga) and there was only one real issue to report: the viability of BF's arm. (See earlier post). And it was spot on with respect to recent developments.

Just read these quotes and compare them to my previous post about the simplicity of the BF story. BF himself said almost EXACTLY what I wrote mere days ago.

BF was quoted in the "Lost Angeles" Times yesterday from his recent interview with Joe Buck:

"It makes perfect sense as far as coming back because it's an offense that I ran for 16 years," Favre said, adding: "I could teach the offense."

"They do have a great running back, they have a great running game,"

"I don't think you can go past anything more than the arm," said Favre, who turns 40 in October. "If that's not up to par -- and is not up to par when the time comes -- then you can't play. I went through it last year, and I gutted it out or whatever, but it affected me, and it affected our team. I can't do that again, and I won't do that again. . . ."

It's not in my personality to point out when I am right. In fact, I will openly point out when I am wrong and own up to it. However, in this case, I can't take too much credit. The handwriting was on the wall. Anyone with any bit of common sense could interpret this story and see it unfold from a mile away, yet the Male Soap Opera kept shoving it up our butt, almost in a desperate ploy to demand our attention at a time when there was nothing actually newsworthy enough to warrant that attention.

Yes, I told you so, but don't give me too much credit. You don't need to be Nostradamus to predict the obvious.